Tension

Last night and into this morning, I've been anxious. Not an unusual state for me. I run hot and cold. Lately, I've had some issues. We've hired possibly New York State's worst contractor for new windows and siding at our home, a project now in its eleventh week. At work, I've got funding, budgeting, and staff acrimony issues. Mom has been ill a couple weeks and will miss Thanksgiving dinner. My in-laws are in-coming and our last visit was a mess. Stressful stuff.

I think of my logical and emotional sides as two people renting space in my head. The logical one knows stress and anxiety do me very little good and that feeling them is a choice. The emotional one doesn't do logic when it's freaking out.

I imagine them as separated, but they're connected a rope stretched taut between them as they engage in a tug of war. When one of them pulls the other over or gives up and leaves nothing to pull against, I lose my balance.

Tension between them holds me upright. As I work to navigate the world, their pulling keeps me on a good path.

All that's well and good, but last night and this morning, I've been anxious, pulled off balance. What do I do about that?

Start by noticing I haven't been pulled over. Although the rope has pulled me hard, my feet are still under me, and I can exert tension of my own.

Then remember I don't have to pull opposite to the way in which I'm being pulled. I can let myself be pulled somewhat while still moving in the direction I had intended to go. I can be responsive, not reactive.

From there, notice how the tension evens out as the emotional or logical regain their footing and we work together to move forward.

Notice that, and anxiety falls away.